Discipleship: Following in the Savior's Footsteps

If you were to ask me what the greatest problem among mankind is, there would be many to choose from. But, I think many of them stem from a simple human frailty. There is something about our nature that compels us to compare ourselves to each other. This becomes a serious problem for many that can lead to low self-esteem, to be overly concerned with appearances both physical and material, to feed some with thoughts and acts of theft and violence. It creates a great amount of poison from seemingly harmless thoughts of comparison. The problem becomes that “as a man thinketh, so is he.”

We worry about what other people think, we worry that we are somehow inferior to them, that their life is somehow easier or better than our own. Sometimes we worry about it so much we seek out those that we feel we can be better than until we convince ourselves we are superior rather than inferior. We compare. We judge. We’re miserable because of it, but it becomes an addiction. Perhaps that’s why the Savior spent so much time telling us to “judge not”. The more time we spend consumed in negative thinking, about ourselves or others, the less of our hearts are available to feel the Savior’s love for us. The less we are able to see ourselves as He sees us.

Thus, He gave us the parable of the mote and the beam.

Matthew 7:3-4— And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

And the example of the adulterous woman.

John 8:2-11— And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

In both messages there is a theme of discouragement for judging others. In neither instance are the individuals free from fault. There was room for improvement, but it is the Lord who decides what our path should be and how we can change for the better. There is only one standard we should be comparing ourselves to: the Lord’s. His view and expectations of us are all that truly matter. We are told to seek out Christ and feel of His love, not to form opinions about how other are doing on their own journey.

He sees into our souls and wants us to become all that He sees. That is an independent and unique journey for each of us. He does not compare us to our neighbor, so neither should we.

What kinds of things can keep us from having a close relationship with someone? What kinds of things can get in the way? Prejudices, pride, anger, insufficient communication, selfishness and many other things can lead to a rift between us, and the people around us. Sadly, this is a common occurrence in the world today. It is even sadder to consider that these differences with our fellow man not only separates us from them, but also separates us from the Savior. Anger, grudges and contention chase the Spirit from our hearts.

3 Nephi 11:29— For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

As uncomfortable as these situations can make us, it is nothing compared to the emptiness that can follow from the loss of peace in our lives and the loss of the Savior who could bring that peace back. The Lord’s answer to this problem is simple and straightforward.

3 Nephi 12:23-24— Therefore, if ye shall come unto me, or shall desire to come unto me, and rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee—
Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.

As with many things the Savior asks of us, the path may not be easy. Some differences are easier to repair than others. But He has assured us that reconciliation is the way to His peace.

This process takes an amount of humility and self-control. When we carry the burden of hate and discontent it poisons so much of our lives. Yet, the Lord asks us to give it away to make room for His love and joy. The longer we hang onto these parts of ourselves the less of His tender mercies we are able to feel in our lives.

It may be something small: the fight you had with your spouse over how to load the dishwasher. It may be something big: the scars of an abusive childhood. The process is the same.

The Lord requires us to forgive and put away the past, just as we ask Him to do for our own sins and imperfections. Even when the sin against us seems unforgivable, He has asked us to let it go. In that process we turn over the pain, the worry, and the emotional scars to His care. The great blessing of the atonement then allows Him to succor us, no matter the state, or feelings of the other party.

President Gordon B. Hinckley has said:

“We see the need for [forgiveness] in the homes of the people, where tiny molehills of misunderstanding are fanned into mountains of argument. We see it among neighbors, where insignificant differences lead to undying bitterness. We see it in business associates who quarrel and refuse to compromise and forgive when, in most instances, if there were a willingness to sit down together and speak quietly one to another, the matter could be resolved to the blessing of all. Rather, they spend their days nurturing grudges and planning retribution. …

“If there be any who nurture in their hearts the poisonous brew of enmity toward another, I plead with you to ask the Lord for strength to forgive. This expression of desire will be of the very substance of your repentance. It may not be easy, and it may not come quickly. But if you will seek it with sincerity and cultivate it, it will come. …

“… There is no peace in reflecting on the pain of old wounds. There is peace only in repentance and forgiveness. This is the sweet peace of the Christ, who said, ‘blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.’ (Matt. 5:9.)” (“Of You It Is Required to Forgive,” Ensign, June 1991, 2, 5)

We can not affect how other people will treat us. But, we always have the freewill to decide how we will treat others, and how we will react to their treatment of us. May we learn to focus more on peace, a soft answer, and a spirit of love than we do on hurtful words and actions.

Recently, I’ve been studying the ways the scriptures talk about friendship. These stories are usually sweet and poignant.

Jonathan was a friend who put David’s needs above his own and protected David from danger.
Ruth went beyond that which was required of her and reached out to Naomi in comfort and friendship.
Job’s friends mourned with him, and tried to help Job carry his burdens during his trials.
There are friends who trust you with their lives.
There are friends who defend your integrity.
There is also a story of Moroni, in the Book of Mormon, that tells of the years he spent wandering and alone, the last of his people. He had no family and no friends, but he had plenty of enemies that wanted him dead. My heart cries out for the pain and sorrow his life must have contained during that time. It is a great blessing to have these true friends in life. It is also a blessing that is often overlooked.

But, perhaps the best description of a friend comes from Jesus Christ, Himself.

John 15:13-14- But, perhaps the greatest statement on friendship comes from the Savior Himself.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.

I can think no greater compliment than to be called Christ’s friend. He carries the best attributes of a friend. Not only those I have identified from various scriptures, but every good gift of friendship that can be conceived. He will never abandon us. He will always stand behind us, support us, and guide us. He offers peace and comfort. He offers council, and understanding. He atoned for our sins, so that we could stand before God clean. He died for us, and was resurrected, to open the gateway for our restored lives as well. He is the Exemplar, the Savior, the Elder Brother, the Good Shepherd, and the Advocate. He is our friend.

All He asks in return is to live up to the potential for good that He knows we have by following His commandments. I want and need His divine friendship, so I will follow.