Gossip
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Relationships
In September of 1981, Gene R. Cook wrote an article that might well have struck fear in the hearts of some readers. He wrote of a group of Mormons summoned before church leadership because they were in danger of having their church
membership taken from them? Had they robbed a bank? Broken the law of chastity? Committed apostasy? No, not at all. They had done something most of them probably considered unimportant—they had gossiped. They had participated in a nasty whisper campaign about someone they believed had been immoral. The stories were lies and the damage was widespread. Church leaders found it necessary to take this drastic step to help their members understand that gossip is not entertainment or a minor sin. A reputation had been destroyed and it would be impossible to completely undo the damage, especially since the stories had spread outside the church. Read more
How to Help When You Don’t Know What to Do
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Relationships, Service
Grief, pain, and suffering are a natural part of our time here on earth. Though it often seems that we would like to skip over this part of our learning process, without them we would not be able to fully experience and feel their contrasting emotions such as: peace, gratitude, joy.
Still, it’s difficult in the moment of suffering. Sometimes it’s even more difficult when we’re watching a friend or loved-one going through their own trials of life. Probably one of the worst feelings in the world is watching someone’s grief and having no idea what you can do to support them. While I do not claim to have all the answers for any given situation, I can give you a few thoughts and ideas to spark your own feelings and promptings from the Spirit. There is almost always a way for the disciple of Christ to reach out and let someone know they’re loved. It’s just up to us to open our hearts and minds to God’s promptings.
First, consider the example of Christ. The number of people He encountered everyday with visible and hidden pains was sometimes incomprehensible. He offered a little of Himself to each one. He offered the part they needed most. Sometimes it was healing, but often His actions involved other things entirely. Sometimes it was words of comfort, sometimes it was simply exposure to His presence. None of these are exclusively out of our reach.
We can offer our time. We can offer brief words of comfort. We may not know exactly what to say but we also need to remember that grieving and stress are not times for eloquent speeches. Those moments of great need were not the times that Christ delivered His longest sermons, but they were often the most poignant for each of us.
Neither do I condemn thee. (John 8:11)
Suffer the little children. (Matthew 19:14)
Peace, be still. (Mark 4:39)
Mary. (John 20:16)
Simple words are often best.
I’m sorry.
This must be hard.
I love you.
I’m not judging you.
I’m here for you.
Keep it simple and speak from your heart and spirit. They’ll hear what they need most.
Though you may have experienced a similar trial, you can not fully know what anyone else feels. Do not presume that you know exactly how your friend feels during her own experience. Offer only that your experiences are similar and that it might be easier for you to understand thoughts and feelings they have been reluctant to share with others.
There are two other examples from Christ’s life that teach me a great deal about how to serve. Even when I have no idea what else I can do, I can cry with my friend, and I can ask what they need from me most.
Jesus Christ cried with His friends as He approached the tomb of Lazarus. He knew that in a moment there would be no need for grief, but these were His friends, the grief of the moment was real and He felt it with them. Sometimes it just helps to see and know that someone else is crying with you. Give them your presence and your time. Listen, don’t talk. Don’t offer judgments or solutions. Offer your hand or a gentle embrace as appropriate. Often these simple gifts are far more powerful than words.
At other times, Christ gave us a different kind of example. Even when He knew the desires of their heart, even when He knew exactly what they needed, Christ often put the power of choice back into the hands of the one in need. He would ask, “What would you have me do?” If you honestly don’t know, ask. Be sincere, offer a few suggestions if you must. Make it clear that you want to help and uplift in the way the grieving person feels they need most in the moment.
If you can see that their need is great but they are unable or unwilling to tell you what you need, then just do something. It may not be exactly what they need, but if you prayerfully consider your options and move forward without waiting for them to ask for something, you open the door and let them know how serious you are about helping them anyway you can.
Here are a few more ideas to consider.
A gift of tissues and chicken noodle soup are almost always a sweet gesture. Often, food and casseroles are things that many people think of. If this seems to be the case, consider creating a meal or two that are completely frozen. The days of stress and grieving are often much longer than the generosity and notice of those around someone, explain that you want them to have something for later: for the days when their healing is slow and they just need someone else to do the cooking. This works in the immediate to let them know where your thoughts lie, it also extends your gift to a time when their need may be less obvious as it is at first.
Provide them with a new pillow or stuffed animal with a comforting feel. Explain that it is to be used in those sad moments when no one is around to hug. The item represents a hug from you.
Give them a journal or nice notebook and pen. Encourage them to try writing a few of their thoughts and feelings when they seem overwhelming. The act of writing them allows the person to order their thoughts, calm their soul, and eases a little of the burden. Other items that might be appropriate for different individuals would be a recording device, colored pencils, paints, or scrap booking materials.
Have these thoughts sparked ideas of your own? Grab a notebook and write them down. You never know when Christ will need you to remember them.
Really, the possibilities are endless. That’s part of the problem when you desperately want to help and feel at a loss. Consider your own thoughts, what would you want most in the same situation? Consider your loved one, what are their favorite things? Consider your Savior, does He offer an example you can follow? Consider all of these, then take these thoughts to God in prayer. Tell Him about those things you’ve considered, the things you value most about the one who is hurting, how desperately you want to serve as Christ disciple and that you are offering your hands to Him. Ask Him, and then follow the warmth and feelings of your heart.
Gratitude for Special Spirits
Filed under: Blessings, Humility, Peace, Relationships, Service
I think that some of the best disciples of Christ I have ever seen haven’t really said a word to me about Jesus Christ. Well, maybe sometimes, but for the most part they testify of the love and goodness of God in a vastly different way. Most of the world calls these children “special needs”, I prefer special spirits. Some may not share the same opinions of gratitude for children who are born with a different set of parameters on life than most of us. Some would see this as a sign that God does not love us, that just like war, famine, and a host of other difficult things in this life, these children are somehow evidence that Heavenly Father is not aware of us.
I would tend to disagree. Yes, when I found out my son was “different” it was heartbreaking for me. I had hopes and dreams for him that I didn’t know if the future could ever fulfill. Mostly, I was scared. God was trusting me with something very unique and special and I had no clue what I was supposed to do for him. It’s a long process, but it’s one I’d go through again and again just to have my son come up to me daily and just say “hello”, or try to crush me with a “hug”. No, my days are not always easy. I’ve seen many with much greater challenges than mine. It is hard, but there is a special reward that comes with it: their spirit. Sure, we may see them as different, we may be sad for what we perceive as their lost futures, we may fall into bed feeling helpless, hopeless and exhausted, but we also get to see them smile.
See, that’s the thing I’ve noticed about special needs individuals. For the most part, these special spirits are happy. They are not mourning over who they are. They get frustrated, just like we do, when their world is off kilter, but there is often a sense of peace, joy, and love that surrounds them. I see the goodness of God in them. Each smile is a huge testimony to me that life is wonderful, that I am loved, that the kind and good life our Savior has asked us to pursue can be accomplished. When I look at them, I notice the warmth of ministering angles that stay close by and watch over those with challenges in this life.
This week I had the chance to take my special needs son to his sports introduction program. It was kind of fun to sit back and watch all the different special needs kids with their different personalities running around with hockey sticks. There was something else I was watching as well. I was watching their coaches. They were as different as the children, coming from all walks of life, but they had one thing in common: they were truly happy to be right where they were, doing what they were doing. That’s what I’m most grateful for today.
Just as there are those whose special spirits are more obvious to the world, there are also those with special spirits that most of us don’t notice very often. You see, Heavenly Father place a great portion of His spirit in each one of those special needs children, but He also understood the challenges they and those around them would face. He placed a select measure of His spirit in others, which draws them to those that are mentally, physically, or socially challenged. He placed in them the patience and love that these children need. He’s watching out for His most special children. He’s gently guiding some of us to do the same.
I watched the children shine with God’s love and I watched that light be reflected in the faces of their coaches as they ran, laughed, guided, and cheered. So, I just wanted to share my gratitude for them, for reminding me that there is true joy in service. When we find where we can be the most effective servant in the hands of God, whether that’s what we think we’re looking for or not, there is joy. There is love. There is God. There is peace. There is home.
One Fold and One Shepherd
Have you ever considered what is probably one of the most emphasized words in the scriptures? Yes, there are a few that could be discussed but today I’d like to think about the word “one”. If you think about it, “one” is a term frequently used when a commandment is issued to man kind- more particularly to the disciples of Christ.
Here are a couple of the most thought compelling phrases within the New Testament.
And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. (John 10:16)
One Lord, one faith, one baptism. (Ephesians 4:5)
If you couple that with another scripture found in the Doctrine and Covenants, the significance of “one” becomes even more clear.
Behold, this I have given unto you as a parable, and it is even as I am. I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine. (D&C 38:27)
It’s something that definitely needs to be considered. During His earthly ministry, Christ tried to make it perfectly clear that He was doing the will of His Father. He wanted us to understand that their thoughts, purposes, and love for us are one and the same. Jesus Christ would not do something contrary to Heavenly Father’s commandments and purposes. Then, Christ states that He will gather us all into a single fold, that He is the single Shepherd to whom we can turn for guidance, protection in life, and a way home. He tells us that if we are not “one” within that fold, we can not be His.
To me, these things speak of there only being one path that leads directly to Christ, one religion and means by which mankind can return to God’s presence. I truly believe that Jesus Christ never meant for us to be confused or take different views and interpretations of His doctrine. He was one with the Father. He followed God’s path explicitly. He asks us to find that one path that brings everything about us as His disciples into harmony with Him. We need to become totally and completely His.
Everyone has different backgrounds and environments. There are so many good things that come out of the diversities of religion in the world. I can honestly say that any church can bring about tremendous amounts of good. It’s a step in the right direction, no matter which congregation you find yourself in, if your purpose in being there is to be as close to Jesus Christ as possible there’s nothing bad about that at all. But, without offending, may I suggest that the path extends further still. Eventually, I’d hope your desire would be to become even closer, to find those things that speak to your mind and heart even more clearly. It may seem a little pretentious, but to me that closer focus is found within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe it to be founded on the church established by Jesus Christ. I believe there is nothing lacking. I believe that within its doctrines and practices I can find myself truly honoring the will and purposes of my Heavenly Father. Fully and completely. That’s the most rewarding feeling for a disciple of Christ.
What does it take to become “one” in the eyes of God? I look for, and find, the following elements in the LDS Church.
And thus, notwithstanding there being many churches they were all one church, yea, even the church of God; for there was nothing preached in all the churches except it were repentance and faith in God. (Mosiah 25:21)
So we, being many, are one body in Christ. (Romans 12:5)
And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.
And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that bought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common. (Acts 4:31-32)These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren. (Acts 1:14)
Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; (Philippians 1: 27)
Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. (2 Corinthians 13:11)
The most basic answer on how to become one? Through Jesus Christ. Learn to hear His voice and recognize His gospel.
In your quest to become one with Christ through organized religion, focus on these elements:
A unity and agreement on all of the teachings of Jesus Christ.
A continuity of instruction, methods, and structure.
A path of communication and revelation through prayer—individual and congregation.
A confirming spirit and the presence of the Holy Ghost in all of their gathering and efforts.
Genuine concern, service and support between the members.
A specific and concentrated effort to live as Christ did, to bring all actions in line with His will.
When you find these things, stand close and be counted among Christ’s flock. Be His. And, be one with those around you in His flock.
The Disciple’s Place in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Humility, Obedience, Relationships, Service
What does membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the LDS Church) mean for the disciple of Christ? Is it possible to be a disciple without membership? The most basic answer to the second question is yes of course. Anyone who realizes how important Jesus Christ is to them can begin a new life as His disciple. Emulating Jesus Christ is the best goal for anyone in this world. In fact, it is the primary purpose of our time on earth.
As we’ve discussed many times, discipleship is a growth process that allows us to be a little bit more like the Savior every day. The disciple of Christ truly desires to follow Christ, to carry His name, and serve those around him in the best ways he can. That process starts from wherever we find ourselves.
But, there is another factor involved in becoming a disciple. The disciple of Christ carries the Spirit of Christ within his heart and nature. It whispers guidance, assurance, peace, and understanding. It testifies of Jesus Christ and the eternal truths He taught. The disciple of Christ recognizes and embraces truth.
Because you are reading this blog, I know that you have had some dealings with the LDS Church. That may mean you are a life-time member or someone making a casual inquiry. Either way, the first question each of us found in this place, at this time, is: What do I believe about Jesus Christ? Then, after we’ve looked inside of ourselves and pondered our answers to this basic question we can move forward.
A belief in Jesus Christ is a foundation in good. It is the best place to build up a lasting part of ourselves. What we accomplish on this foundation carries the greatest value both here and in heaven. When we have established where we stand in our beliefs and love for Christ, we can move on to the next valuable question: What am I willing to do in His name? How can I best be His disciple? Again, these answers are individual.
The one thing that every disciple needs to keep in mind, both with their own dealings with their fellow man and in the way they view an organized religion of any type is: everything in the Church of Jesus Christ is about pleasing the Lord. Everything. Not politics, not station, not money, not prestige, not anything else.
Because of the light within me, because of my own desires to be a dedicated disciple, I recognize the truth that permeates The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but more importantly I recognize its focus. Everything in the LDS Church is about pleasing the Lord. That’s why this disciple chooses membership in a “peculiar” religion.
I have friends in many different religions. I hear their heartbreak as they watch members of their own congregations forget the most basic principles of discipleship. I do not pretend that there are no problems within our congregations. We are still human, but I think there is a very basic difference in how we operate and how many others do. We take our discipleship very seriously. We make covenants associated with our belief in Jesus Christ. We willingly enter into binding promises with our God to serve and honor Him. If something is happening that is contrary to the basic mission of pleasing God and supporting His doctrines it can, should, and will be corrected.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a source of truth but most of all it is a source of commitment. I came because of Jesus Christ; I continue because of Jesus Christ, I try to please the Lord. If you’re ready to take your discipleship to the next level, let your heart look more closely at the truths that can be found here. It gives every member/disciple a chance to actively move closer to Christ in every way. It’s the best home I’ve found for the disciple of Christ.
Everything in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is about Jesus Christ.
Sitting Down in Heaven Together
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Relationships, Service
Today I’d like to spend a few minutes exploring the following quote from Lucy Mack Smith:
We must cherish one another, watch over one another, and comfort one another… that we may all sit down in heaven together. (Lucy Mack Smith)
Lucy Mack Smith was the mother of the f prophet, Joseph Smith. She was a great and hardworking woman. I have no doubt that she made it to her goal of sitting down in heaven. But what of those she wanted to sit with her? I love the fact that she knew there were people she wanted to have around her in the next life. I love the fact that she knew what was needed to bring them all together in the presence of God.
Her words offer a clear mission statement for the disciple of Christ. We offer our hands and hearts to the Savior and ask to live as He would, becoming a bit more like Him every day. What greater example did Jesus Christ offer to us, than to cherish, watch over and comfort one another?
This quote is actually a reflection of several verses from the Book of Mormon. In these, the prophet Alma is challenging those who have believed his words about Jesus Christ to be baptized.
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— Mosiah 18:8-9
These verses are soon followed by the response of those who were learning about Jesus Christ. In essence, they clapped their hands for joy and exclaimed that this was the desire of their hearts. More than anything they wanted to become disciples of Christ. I’ve felt that same joy of commitment from time to time, have you? It comes when I’m working to comfort, help, and uplift others, when I’m doing my best to make my life what the Savior has asked me to make of it. It comes when I know others can see Christ through who I am.
As we learn how to accomplish these things in our lives, we learn more about our Savior, we learn more about our fellow man, we learn more about what heaven will really be like. Discipleship is a gradual process of being able to see ourselves and those around us as the Savior sees us. It’s a very different view from the one the world often shows us. It’s this process of watching out for each other, helping with each other’s needs, wanting people to show forth the best of their traits and develop their God-given traits and experience the power of their God-given nature that allows us to look at things through the Savior’s eyes. When we serve, support, and protect each other, we cherish each other. We find ourselves bursting with joy and the love of God. We look forward to an eternal existence after this life based on the same terms of service and love. We look forward to helping other be there together. We work toward a common goal of sitting down in heaven in the presence of our Savior knowing He is pleased with our efforts as a disciple.
The Role of Father as Disciple
The family is a divinely organized unit. Within it Heavenly Father intends for us to learn and form a basis of support that will lead each family member back to Him.
What is the father’s role in a family? Often, the things that come to mind are the things they do to help with the cares of the world. As a disciple of Christ, a father has a much greater purpose.
The first principle to understand about families is that they are organized and blessed by Heavenly Father.
The second principle is to understand the term Heavenly Father. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we firmly believe and draw comfort from the fact that God is very literally our Heavenly Father. He is the Father of our spirit. We were a family unit before our time here on earth.
The purpose of discipleship is to testify of Christ and to live His teachings. They carry His name and example with them everywhere they go. Jesus Christ testifies of our Heavenly Father. He made it perfectly clear that He was on earth to represent and do the will of His Father.
The disciple testifies of Christ.
Christ testifies of Heavenly Father.
The earthly family unit is to mirror the family we had in heaven.
The role of the earth-bound father as disciple is to testify of Christ and present a living example of our Heavenly Father.
That seems a much more daunting task than, “the father is the bread winner”. I appreciate the efforts of those righteous fathers who work for and with their families with one eye on the examples from heaven. I grieve for those who have not felt this kind of power and influence from a truly good man in their lives.
The father as a disciple is working to support and watch out for their family. They teach and lead. They testify of Christ and show an example of righteousness. A very tall order, a very noble mission. For this, the father needs the same thing every other disciple needs—the companionship of the Holy Ghost. He seeks to understand God’s word and the gospel of Jesus Christ by spending a little time each day studying the scriptures and a lot of time on their knees in prayer. They keep their feet on paths where the Spirit can follow. They pray for and with their families. They listen to the spirit to help them understand how to reach each person in their care. They place high priority on their happiness, just like our Heavenly Father. They never give up on a child. They stand in the doorway, waiting with open arms of love and acceptance for each member of their family. Through an earthly father, or one who provides a surrogate role of father, we learn about God’s love. We learn how to be disciples ourselves.
What Matters Most
If I had to think today about what matters most to the Lord about our time here on earth, three things come to mind.
1. The relationship we develop with our Savior
2. The relationship we develop with our family
3. The relationship we develop with our fellow man (otherwise known as: service)
For me at least, everything that Heavenly Father indicates He wants for me in this life are wrapped up in these three things. Yes, there are many more specific instructions that may not appear to be included in these three, but I’d bet the relationship is there whether it’s easily seen or not.
To this end He has provided us with specific instructions for each of these areas. I’m grateful for the proclamations on the Family and the Living Christ. In addition to the scriptures, these offer a great amount of insight into the first two areas.
But what about service? Why do I place that on my list above anything else? Well, as I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve remembered the many times in the scriptures that the Lord has emphasized helping and caring for others. Service was the entire focus of the Savior’s earthly ministry. Service matters to the Savior, it is what He requires His disciples to be eagerly engaged in and focused on.
When I think about accounting for my time here on earth, I think that there are a lot of things I may have been good at: like obeying the word of wisdom, or attending my meetings, but I think the first thing Heavenly Father will want to know is, “how have you treated My children?” Like any kind and concerned parent, His children are His first priority. We see that in the way He loves and cares for us. We should see that He holds each of His children with the same regard. Will it matter if we never got a speeding ticket or cheated on our taxes if we didn’t reach out to those around us? I don’t think how well we conquer the other commandments can make up for ignoring our fellow man in the process.
For the member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Chieko N. Okazaki states, “our real calling to be a compassionate Christian came when we stepped out of the waters of baptism.” (Chieko N. Okazaki- Rejoice in Every Good Thing)
That holds true for every individual who wishes to be a disciple of Christ. The moment we make that resolution and turn our lives over to His hands, each one of us is promising to serve Him, and our neighbor, as He sees fit.
That’s not to say it’s an easy thing to do. Service takes preparation. We each need to practice taking the focus off of ourselves and placing it on the Lord and the Spirit. When we do this we are able to find out what the Lord would have us do. This process of drawing away from ourselves and closer to the Savior is what opens our hearts and minds to who we can reach out to and how.
Mother Teresa said, “I’m a little pencil in the hands of God. He does the thinking. He does the writing. He does everything—and it’s really hard—sometimes it’s a broken pencil. He has to sharpen it a little more. But be a little instrument in His hands so that He can use you anytime, anywhere. … We have only to say Yes to Him.” (“Love: A Fruit Always in Season,” Daily Meditations, San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1987, p. 243.)
Learning the Gospel From My Father
I grew up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I can’t really say we were a model LDS family. Oh, in a lot of ways we were, but in some very basic ways we weren’t. We only ever had a handful of Family Home Evenings, we hardly ever ate dinner together, and never had family scripture study or prayer. Even though these types of things were missing from my home, there were some other very important things that were present. I think it’s a system of checks and balances. My parents were very good at teaching me the power of service and showing me an example of 110% effort in church callings. But my favorite gospel lesson came from my father.
My father was a very busy man. He traveled a lot, both for his work and for his church service. He got tired and he got grumpy. But, what I remember most are those special occasions when he would call us around him: sometimes at the kitchen table, sometimes in the living room, sometimes all piled on my parents bed. Then my father would smile and say, “Let me tell you what I learned about the gospel today.”
Sometimes it was something deep and profound. Sometimes it was simple observances. I can’t distinctly remember many of the subjects he sat us down to talk about, what I remember is – his face. When he would bring us to him to hear about the gospel his face would shine with happiness. Have you ever been around someone who is talking about a hobby or passion that they love? Did you notice how everything about them began to change as they talked and got excited about what the subject meant to them? That was my father. I’d see him more at peace, more content, and more joyful in those moments than any others.
Of all the Family Home Evening lessons I could have had, or any other gospel centered activity, his face was the message I would carry with me into my adult years. My father taught me that the gospel of Jesus Christ is about joy.
Because of the look on his face, the change in his whole demeanor I learned what is possibly the greatest principle. The gospel brings happiness. Even if every thing else in my life is in turmoil, if I’m focusing on the gospel, I have a source of peace and joy.
So yes, I may struggle in my own family to consistently have Family Home Evening, but I hope they’ll overlook that and leave my home with the same knowledge I gained in my youth.
Service is important.
Give your all to the Lord.
The gospel brings joy.
I hope that as I try every day to be an active disciple of Jesus Christ my children can see that same look of happiness and peace on my face.
Creating a Family of Disciples
Our family is one of God’s greatest gifts to us. It can be a source of joy for us, or pain. It is something that is dear to our hearts so as disciples of Jesus Christ, the first place we should carry His name is into our homes. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” clearly states that happiness in marriage and family is best achieved when the home is centered on the principles of Jesus Christ. After our own conversion, creating a family of disciples should be our highest priority. In fact, within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe a discipleship home creates an eternal home.
How can we do this? What steps can we take to ensure that our spouses and children, or parents, brothers, and sisters have the opportunity to develop their own relationship with Jesus Christ? Here is a brief list that the ancients and modern day prophets have counseled us to attend to with the promised blessing of a happier, richer home life that is centered on the gospel of Christ.
Scripture study. Draw strength from the scriptures. Let your children see you immersed in them because they bring you joy, then help them find that joy as well. No one method is right or wrong, the priority is time spent reading together from God’s word not necessarily turning our children into scripture spouting powerhouses. In our family scripture study has taken on many different faces depending on the needs of the children. When one child was struggling with embarrassment in church meetings when they could not turn to the scripture references as easily as others in the class, our family scripture time became random verse readings. Each member of the family opened their scriptures to any given point, then we would look up each person’s scriptures together. The verse was read and then we moved on. If they were still tolerant after everyone had shared scriptures, we might ask them which verses they liked best and talk about them briefly.
Though it may seem inappropriate to some, there are times we treat our scripture study as a game. We bribe them with small treats equal to the number of verses we are able to read without getting ants in our pants. We see who can find the silliest or shortest verse, or the longest genealogy, or be the first to locate a scripture on a given subject. The winner gets an extra fifteen minutes before bed. This is how we keep the grumbles out of our scripture time. It works for us; it may not work for another.
Family prayer. After our scripture time, we end with a prayer. On nights where we may be behind schedule or having a difficult time in some other manner, my husband and I will divide forces and visit each child’s room separately. We let the child hear us pray for them and our family, then listen to their own prayer. Again, it may not be ideal, but it’s a step in the right direction that fits the season of our family.
Family Home Evening. We have been counseled by our modern prophets to set aside one night a week for our family to be together. We play, we get to know each other better, we try to resolve difficulties our family is facing, we study the gospel, we grow closer. True, there are many times when family time is a struggle, whether it is because of outside responsibilities or inside contentions and resistance. These are the things that Satan wants us to focus on, he is trying everything in his power to discourage you and weaken the links between family members. He wants us to only remember the nights when everyone is crying or staring at you sullenly. He doesn’t want you to remember the times you drew closer, or things went well, or everyone left smiling. He wants you to believe that family time is impossible, and certainly not worth the trouble.
This is not what Heavenly Father has asked of us. He values our family unit. It is meant to be eternal. He has asked us to put our family first in our lives. When we shove those negative influences aside, when we schedule family time each week, even if it means sacrificing something else, then our family learns they matter. But above all else it creates a home of discipleship and reduces contention. Do not try to follow a formula that is not effective for your family unit. Just because your neighbor can have hour long, in depth gospel discussions with his family does not mean this is what your family needs. Focus your family time around your own family’s needs. The point is to draw closer together in love and in the gospel, not to drive more wedges between you with unrealistic expectations.
Family meals. The same advice applies to gathering your family together once a day for a meal, casual conversation, and even reviewing family scheduling for the day. Dinner may be easiest for some families. In others it may be breakfast. Again, elaborate meals and extended amounts of time are not the priority. Touching bases with each family member and feeding them spiritual love and support is the key.
Service. Place the needs of other family members above your own and learn to service them happily. Give each other your best manners and respect, then take your serving hearts to others in your community and the world. Learn to work together to strengthen and uplift others.
It’s not a very long list, some may be simpler for you than others, but as in all things, Christ takes the measure we are able to provide and fortifies it according to our needs. It does not provide a guarantee that no family member will stray or that all contention will be absent from our home. What it does provide is the strength to weather the storms of life when you learn to face them together.